❖ When you were growing up, your parents were very controlling, overbearing. (maybe they were very religious and expected a lot of behaviors and desires from you that matched their religious views.)
❖ You have a hard time deciding what it is that you want (this can be anything from what sounds good to eat, to deciding on where to live, to deciding on where to go to school, deciding what to study, deciding on a job, etc..)
❖ When you look at how you spend your time, or have your future time planned out… Pay attention to the language you use when talking about it. Do you hear a lot of “should”, “need to”, “have to” in the way you talk about this?
❖ You find yourself wanting to say “no” to requests from you quite often, but you fear how the other person might feel about you saying this, so you say “yes”, because it is just “easier that way”… But later you feel a lot of resentment toward yourself or the other person for saying yes.
❖ You find yourself feeling disappointed quite often when you do things for other people, and then later they do not do something to reciprocate, or you do not feel appreciated for what you did.
❖ You find yourself struggling with your weight, and you notice it either going up and up, when you do not intend for it to. Or, you might lose weight and regain it over and over as a pattern in your life.
❖ You find yourself eating when you are not ACTUALLY physically hungry, and you “know” that you do not “need” the food, and actually do not “want” to be eating it because you know it will give you a negative result on the other side, but you feel like you do not have the willpower to “resist” just eating.
❖ You eat when you feel stressed, upset, frustrated, tired, sad, angry, etc…
❖ You notice drinking patterns around your strong or heavy emotions (such as stress, anger, frustration, disappointment, fear, anxiety, depression, etc…)
❖ You find yourself starting and stopping projects constantly in your life.
❖ You find yourself believing or thinking that you are someone who does not have big dreams or goals in your life.
❖ You find yourself thinking about dreams or goals in life, but never putting them into consistent action.
❖ You find yourself wondering what other people will think and feel about your goals and dreams in life, and you use that as a compass to decide if you “should” or “should not” want, or go after that dream. ❖ You find yourself using exercise as a way to punish yourself for eating habits, or to resist putting on weight due to eating habits.
❖ You find it hard to focus on actions that would move you toward your goals, because you feel compelled to focus in other areas of your life.
❖ You find yourself trying to “catch up” or “just get by” in life.
❖ The things that are important for you get put on the back burner constantly because you feel like you are having to deal with crisis after crisis in your life, or “putting out fires” in life.
❖ You experience burnout, or overwhelm in your life. You might even notice a pattern of it recurring over time.