What I Really Want Is...But I Am Just Too Full Of...
We start our journey into this world without a ‘how to’ manual. What are we ‘supposed to’ want out of life, or ‘supposed to’ do with this life? These questions get answered in the form of social input from adults around us. We perceive these answers in our most formative years, and we see them as FACTS about life. We learn through observation of other people to create ideals, and perspectives about life, as well as the things we will want in life. We learn the things that are ‘good’ or ‘bad’ to want in life.
We did not realize it then, and some us still don’t realize it as adults, that the people we have observed in those early years of life, were also not equipped with a ‘how to manual’ for life. These adults (parents, teachers, pastors, etc…) are also trying to figure out this life while they act it out in front of us as kids, and try to teach us ‘right vs. wrong’.
This was how my story began. That meant that as an adult, I was VERY confused about what I authentically and TRULY wanted for my life. I know what I thought I SHOULD want. I knew the things that I was told I was good at, and what I was told I am not good at. I knew what things felt within my reach to get.
Little did I know that all of this was based in stories about life that were not true for me. They were just all I knew.
Waking up to see that there were other things… BIG BEAUTIFUL things in life that I wanted was a bit jarring for me as an adult. Then seeing that I would be growing and changing a lot to get them, it scared me. So I settled for cheap substitutes and distractions for many years.
But the awareness was now there. I knew what I really wanted. The longer I hid it from myself, and resisted it, the more pain and suffering I felt in life. So, I decided I would get what I wanted.
This only led to the second obstacle in my journey. I was JUST TOO FULL OF… to have room in my life for what I wanted. So, I learned to make room.
This book, is about my journey as a kid, teen, and young adult figuring all of this out. It is full of fun, sad, hilarious stories about me trying to navigate life, and ultimately landing in the journey of making room for what I TRULY wanted out of life.
I hope you enjoy reading about this journey, and that it inspires YOU to find what you TRULY want for your life, and make space for it to grow. Your most fulfilling life is waiting for you… TRUST ME, there is no substitute (I know from experience).